


The Second Coming

by pressdbtwnpages



Category: Panic - Fandom
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-02-11
Updated: 2007-02-11
Packaged: 2017-10-16 03:29:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/167943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pressdbtwnpages/pseuds/pressdbtwnpages
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>Being kicked out of Panic! At the Disco would be so much less of a big deal if everyone would stop reminding Brent of it.</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	The Second Coming

**Author's Note:**

> The title is an allusion to the WB Yeats poem of the same name. Thanks to [](http://wordsaremyfaith.livejournal.com/profile)[**wordsaremyfaith**](http://wordsaremyfaith.livejournal.com/) for the beta and [](http://sexycereal.livejournal.com/profile)[**sexycereal**](http://sexycereal.livejournal.com/) for the read-through.

It's a club, full of loud music, so Brent doesn't necessarily notice that he hears insanely familiar notes that have been all but absent since May until after the vocals start.

 _"What's up, Spence?"_

 _"Brent, man, the thing is... it seems like we're going in different directions."_

 _"Um..."_

 _"It doesn't seem like you care about the band anymore."_

 _"Of course I care."_

 _"Well you're not acting like it."_

 _"I signed up to have fun, Spence. Not just work constantly."_

 _"But the thing is, Brent, you're not working at all."_

 _"Right. Okay. So what are you trying to say here, Spencer?"_

 _"We, the band, that is, Ryan, Brendon, and I, think that it's best if we get a new bass player."_

 _"Oh."_

He turns towards the DJ booth, the video for “Lying Is The Most Fun A Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off”, the video he’s not in and Jon Walker is, is playing and the people around him fall silent. It's strange because being kicked out of Panic! At the Disco would be so much less of a big deal if everyone would stop reminding him of it. Brent’s stopped feeling like he should be up there playing until everyone he knows acts like he should be.

 _They shouldn’t be nervous, Brendon tells anyone who will listen and several people who won’t, they made a record. playing a show should be no big deal._

 _When Brent snaps out that he didn’t make a record because somebody stole his part, Brendon stammers and stares as Ryan puts a reassuring hand on his shoulder and glares at Brent. “We’re all nervous,” he says. “It’s okay.”_

 _That strikes a chord, coming from Ryan, who is practically shaking with anxiety and is still clutching at Brendon._

 _Spencer shows up a minute later and asks if they’re ready with false bravado. He’s paler than usual._

 _******_

 _Once they get on stage, though… people are clapping and cheering. For them. People paid to see, well, not them, exactly, but there are people out there. Listening._

 _Brendon gets this enormous grin on his face because he‘s the center of attention and Spencer counts them off and then, well, they‘re playing. Their songs. In front of a group of kids. Some of whom are dancing. And it feels amazing. It‘s this huge rush that makes Brent start to smile even as he‘s staring at his fingers and desperately trying not to lose the beat or forget the notes._

 _In between songs, Brent looks around at his friends. Even Ryan, plastered in makeup, is flushed and beaming. They‘re doing it, really doing it, playing a show, being rock stars._

 _*******_

 _Backstage after their set is a totally different scene than it was before. They‘re sweaty and smiling, all four of them talking non-stop, none of them listening to each other and all just fucking beaming and so so high off the adrenaline rush. They‘re all Brendon on his worst day, on ten cans of Red Bull and a few handfuls of gummy bears._

Brent can understand intellectually, if not yet in his heart, that he got swept along on a ride he was never supposed to be on. Ryan, Spencer, Brendon, they all had talent, ambition, drive; all Brent intended to sign up for was playing some instrument in the garage with his buddies.

 _Brent's just started high school and playing bass. He's goofing off with the Blink 182 tabs he found online when Ryan and Spencer show up. The two of them exchange a look and it seems like it's been merely a blink of an eye from then to now._

He's known for a long time, since before the record, obviously, that he's a mediocre bass player.

 _"Shouldn't I be laying down tracks soon?"_

 _"Um, about that..." Ryan looks away. Towards Spencer._

 _"Brent, man, you're a little... weak on bass. We," Spencer looks back towards Ryan, "I, we, were thinking that maybe Brendon should play on the record."_

 _"But Brendon's not the bassist."_

 _"I know," Spencer says, sounding like he is trying to be gentle. "It's just that we want to make the best possible record. No one would ever know that it's not you."_

It's something his friends and family have yet to accept and Brent's still too needy for attention and pity to really press the point. Brendon, who plays like six other instruments, is a better bassist than Brent, and Jon Walker is a damn good one. Not to mention a hell of a nice guy, though Brent can't look at him yet without a little bit of loathing.

 _"Jon Walker. Tech."_

 _"And stuff!" one of the Academy guys calls out._

 _"And stuff," Jon amends._

 _"Brent Wilson. Bass player."_

 _In Brent's mind, he's modified that first meeting so that there is an evil glint in Jon's eyes when he discovers that Brent is the bassist and that Jon had planned to steal Brent's spot from day one. In reality, Jon shook his hand, said, "Nice to meet you", and went about checking The Academy Is...'s instruments._

 _It's interesting that when Brent met Jon he got a "nice to meet you," and when Brendon met him the two of them ended up singing songs from_ Aladdin _together._

As isolated from the evolution of Panic! at the Disco as Brent’s been over the last eight months, thanks to the borderline obsessive tact of his friends and family, he hasn’t been able to avoid information about his former friends entirely. There have been magazine covers in checkout lines and Brent can’t help but notice that Jon fits in well with them aesthetically, that Spencer looks good, fit, that Ryan has possibly gotten weirder and that he has definitely indoctrinated Brendon. Something that never would have happened if Brent was still around, only he’s not sure if that’s a good thing or not.

 _When Brendon joins the band everything changes. It’s not bad or anything, just it’s definitely not The Summer League anymore. It’s not even Brendon’s fault, really - they’ve evolved from Blink 182 to Fall Out Boy and Ryan’s starting college and developing an aesthetic and being all intellectual about things. And wearing makeup. Not a lot of makeup, eyeliner mostly, like just another scene kid, but it signifies something that scares Brent._

 _He tried talking to Spencer about it once, but Spencer kind of glared and said “leave it alone” all threateningly. There’s probably a story there, but like so many things between Spencer and Ryan, Brent’s never heard it._

 _It stings even more when after practice one afternoon Brent asks, “Like, what kind of band are we? Do we, are we an eyeliner band?” and Ryan says, “Yes,” that not only does Brendon not fight him, but cuts Brent off with a look and tells him to let it go._

 _Whatever the story about Ryan and makeup is, Brent’s left out of it and Brendon’s not._

 _Brendon’s the first of them, after Ryan, to pick up a stick of eyeliner speculatively and try it out. Spencer succumbs not long after. It becomes a metaphor in Brent’s head - makeup = not me. and He finds it eerily significant that during the arena tour after he’s been kicked out, Brendon’s gone native and is wearing more makeup than Ross._

“Lying Is The Most Fun A Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off” isn’t the longest song in the world, but the video is still flickering against the club wall and Brent’s still watching. His friends are frozen around him, nervous tension enveloping the group. Brent’s just remembering shooting “But It’s Better If You Do.”.

 _Brent spends most of the shoot for “But It’s Better If You Do” in a hotel room in L.A. Mostly the video’s all about Brendon anyway and it’s cold and rainy. They only need him for a few hours the second day._

 _Spencer gives him shit about not going to the set anyway, for moral support and artistic input and a bunch of other things that Brent tunes out. “You don’t need me,” he says, “I’m not going,” and Spencer walks out without saying another word._

 _It’s boring on set anyway, even when he is in the video, it’s all 'start playing' and 'stop playing' and he isn’t even playing a bass. And on top of it all, the one scene the whole band is in, the one scene, the focus is still entirely on Brendon. And, granted, he’s the lead singer, the front man, but, he’s not Panic! at the Disco. He couldn’t do it all himself. Well, he probably could, given time and editing software, but not here. And not lyrics. He still needs Ryan, anyway._

It’s been eight months. Brent hated a lot about touring and performing, the pressure, the expectations, Ryan’s impossibly high standards, the ability but not the opportunity to party like rock stars. A lot of those things, he suspects, are unique to Panic! and are not general rock star rules. As much fun as it could have been in another band, Brent can’t imagine himself playing for anyone else, can’t see himself being a rock star at all anymore.

 _Brent finds a party late one night on the Truckstops and Statelines tour. It’s all techs and roadies already drunk from hanging out with The Academy Is… earlier. Good little band members are tucked away in bed now, sure to be bright-eyed and bushy-tailed for tomorrow’s shows._

 _Jon finds him after about an hour. He doesn’t say anything, just puts a hand on Brent’s shoulder and raises his eyebrows when Brent turns around._

 _“You’re playing tomorrow,” Jon remarks._

 _“Or you are,” Brent replies venomously, still bitter about Jon’s substituting for him the week before._

 _Jon sets his beer down at the mere hint of a thought of a suggestion of the possibility of playing. Brent hates him for that, and it isn’t the first time he’s realized that he is out of his league when it comes to love of music._

 _“Let’s get you back to your bus,” Jon suggests, slipping a supporting arm around Brent’s shoulders. Brent tries to jerk away, but he’s had more to drink than he realized and he ends up falling backwards and landing on his ass. Jon offers him a hand and pulls him up. “Come on.”_

 _Brent leans heavily on Jon, who all but drags him back to the bus. He pushes Brent up the stairs ahead of him, a solid weight at his back were he to fall._

 _Ryan’s awake, and he starts yelling at Brent in a harsh whisper the second he sees him. “Where the fuck have you been?”_

 _And then the scent of alcohol hits him and Ryan recoils, eyes going wide and wary._

 _“Hey, man,” Jon says, still behind him, “it‘s okay. I‘ll take care of him.”_

 _Brent wants to snap that he can take care of himself, but when he opens his mouth he gets dizzy. He must go pale because Jon guides him to the kitchenette and rubs his back as he pukes. Jon speaks soothingly, though Brent can‘t tell through the roaring in his ears if Jon‘s talking to him or Ryan._

 _Once Brent‘s done vomiting up everything he‘s ever consumed in his life, Jon rinses away the evidence and gives him a glass of water._

 _“Aspirin?” Jon asks Ryan, who shakes his head and makes Brent dizzy again. Reluctantly, Ryan gets up and returns with something in the palm of his hand that he hands to Jon, avoiding looking at Brent at all._

 _Jon refills Brent’s glass and hands him the pills Ryan’s provided. “Drink,” Jon commands._

 _Brent can’t finish the glass, so Jon takes it away and announces, “Bedtime.”_

 _Jon guides Brent to his bunk and goes back out to the lounge._

 _It takes Brent a long time to calm his stomach enough to sleep and Jon and Ryan are still talking when he does._

 _******_

 _The bus is empty when Brent wakes up and he wanders into the venue to find everyone. Panic! is on stage practicing, Jon Walker joking with Brendon and riffing some crazy rhythm with Spencer. Ryan‘s the first to notice him and he looks away immediately. Over at Spencer. Over at_ Jon _._

A few months after Spencer’s phone call, once he had started to accept that it really was over between him and Panic!, Brent Googled famous bands that had kicked out original members and then exploded in popularity. He lumped his name in with theirs and realized he would be the next Glen Matlock, interviewed for Behind the Music and possibly recruited for a Celebreality show in about 20 years. Brent’s future as a celebrity is in the hands of VH1. Less than three years after he got famous and Brent’s not sure he wants any of it anymore.

 _Pete’s standing in front of them, arms crossed and face frowning in concentration. It’s daunting, to say the least. Spencer starts them off and then Brendon takes the lead, going into a version of “Nails for Breakfast” that won’t make it to their album intact. Ryan’s bent intently over his guitar, trying, Brent suspects, to forget that Pete freaking Wentz is watching them. Brent’s just trying to keep his fingers on the strings._

 _Pete applauds when they finish going through their songs, face suddenly animating. The four of them look at each other, restrained smiles fighting to break free._

 _“That was great, guys.” The praise shatters whatever professional restraint they’ve been playing at maintaining and they fall apart. Ryan dragging Spencer out from behind his drums and Brendon enveloping all of them in a hug while Pete looks on, laughing. “I’d like to sign you.”_

 _What Brent remembers from that moment is the scent of sweaty boys. Brendon’s shoulder in a threadbare white t-shirt jammed up next to him. Ryan’s breath heavy in his ear. And Spencer, Spencer gulping down air and asking, “What?” and being answered with Pete’s laughter._

 _It's funny how it never ever hit Brent that they'd gotten signed. He met Pete Wentz and celebrated with the others, but even during recording, it somehow never really registered._

If Brent keeps track of when Panic! is touring, it’s not because he cares, it’s because he wants to know when to be nervous about living in Vegas. He wants to know when to forgo Orange Ka-Bam‘s at the Smoothie King. The music video flickers to an end and Brent is suddenly terrified that his friends are idiots and the club is about to welcome very special guests Panic! at the Disco. They don’t, of course. Another song comes on with its accompanying video, and Brent feels his shoulders relax. For the first time, it occurs to him that he may never see Spencer, Ryan, or Brendon again. They went through this special, once-in-a-lifetime experience together. It bonded them somehow, even if that bond wasn’t enough. Brent’s hated a lot about the last few years, but he can’t hate his friends.

 _In retrospect, Brent should have seen the writing on the wall when The Summer League disbanded. Ryan and Spencer exchanged one of those looks and Spencer asked, "Do you know anyone who would be good as a guitarist in our new band?"_


End file.
